i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
