Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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