i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
