I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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