do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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