I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize