Are we in a gay sports bar?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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