Sponge bath it is.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Randomize