Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
