i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
