there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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