is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
