I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
