she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
This house was built for laser tag.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
