Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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