In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
