dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I am one with the molecules
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
where are my eyebrows?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
