so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
