It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
