She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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