It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
