Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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