In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
