Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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