that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
