Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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