my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize