For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
