Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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