With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
