lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
