ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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