whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
