That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize