Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
