I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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