There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
