this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
