yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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