You can't motorboat a personality
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
