U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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