Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize