The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize