She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
