Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
