If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
