im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
