she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
