Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
