If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
