He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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