"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
