the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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