don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
