using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize