im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
