Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
