Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
