I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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