We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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