He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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