I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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