whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
