Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
