I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
