so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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