I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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