tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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