She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
