GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
