Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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