is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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