You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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